


Sweet Redemption

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Dean, M/M, Priest Dean, Priest Garth, Priest Kink, Rimming, Top Castiel, Writer Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 14:38:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11969457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: When Dean left Cas after high school to become a priest, it kind of broke both of them. When Cas shows up seven years later, he tries to convince Dean that they belong together and to leave the priesthood.





	1. Chapter 1

 

After Dean checked the church, he walked down the center aisle and knelt down. After crossing himself, he prayed. 

“Father Dean?” Dean sighed, hearing the voice of one of the altar boys. He got up and turned.

“Yes, Michael? You need something?”

The boy smiled. “I just wanted to tell you that I can’t come to church this Sunday. It’s my mom’s birthday and we’re going to my grandparent’s house.”

Dean grinned. “Okay, Michael, thanks for telling me. I’ll ask Mark to take your place. Have fun.”

The boy thanked him and left. Dean turned back and thought about his prayers. But instead, he went to the rectory.

Mrs. Hudson had left a plate of food for him, covered with a towel. He lifted the towel and sniffed. Meat loaf. He loved Mrs. Hudson’s meat loaf, so he grabbed a beer and sat down to eat.

He listened to the silence while he ate. It was always quiet in the rectory. He was the only person living there, so any noise would have been a shock. His was a small parish, he was the only priest. Mrs. Hudson had her own family she went home to every night.

Not for the first time, Dean wondered if what he was feeling was as simple as loneliness. He had a good number of parishioners but none he was close to. In spite of being born and raised in Lawrence, he wasn’t really friends with anyone there. His parents were long dead and his younger brother lived in California. 

Shaking his head, and telling himself he was just tired, he got up and washed the plate. Then he went to his room.

He pulled off his clothes and changed to sleeping pants. He turned off the lights and got into bed. But again, sleep eluded him. He put his arms behind his head and lay there, thinking.

His mind wandered to that place he never allowed himself to go and tonight was no different. He turned over on his side and changed his train of thought to Sunday’s sermon.

Sunday came and Dean stood on the pulpit. Raising his hands, he said the usual, “Go in peace,” ending the ritual. He shook hands with the parishioners and then headed back to take confessions. He opened the door and went into the coffin-like space and waited.

He had the usual people come in to confess. He listened, gave them absolution and they left.

He waited so long, he figured that he was done and was getting ready to stand up and leave, when he heard the other door open and someone sat down.He waited and the door separating him from the person slid open.

“Hello Dean.”

If Dean hadn’t been sitting down he would have fallen. He would have recognized that voice anywhere. It still sounded like a mixture of honey and whiskey poured over rocks and it still sent shivers down his spine. 

“Cas. What are you doing here?” He willed his voice not to sound weak.

Cas chuckled. “I came to see you. I’ve missed you, Dean. I just want to see you, talk to you.”

Dean took a shaky breath. 

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Cas.”

Cas laughed out loud at that. “Why? Don’t trust yourself around me? Think I’m gonna put the moves on you? Come on, Dean. How holy can you be if you can’t even trust yourself in a room with me?”

Dean sighed. “Fine, Cas. What did you have in mind?”

“Let me take you out somewhere. For a drink, dinner, your choice.”

Dean considered this for a moment. He knew it was probably a horrible idea, but now that Cas was so close, he just couldn’t help himself. “Okay. When?”

Cas obviously was smiling when he said, “No time like the present.”

Dean stood up. “Okay, I have to change my clothes. Come on.”

Dean opened the door and stepped out, He stood and watched as the other door opened, and then there was Cas. 

Cas looked good. He looked really good. Dean’s eyes swept over Cas, taking in the new tats, the skin tight jeans and most of all, those bright blue eyes that haunted his dreams.

Dean turned, saying, “Come on,” was walked to the rectory. Cas followed him.

When they got there, Dean left Cas in the sitting room and went to change his clothes. He grabbed some jeans and pulled them on. He put on a fresh black shirt and his collar. He checked his hair and then went back to Cas.

Cas stood up when Dean entered. His eyes took in Dean slowly. Dean felt like squirming under that intense gaze but he didn’t. 

“Come on, Dean, I’ve got a car is in the parking lot. Where to?”

Dean thought about where he wanted to go with Cas. Many possibilities went through his mind, but he settled on the obvious choice. It may not have been the smartest, but it was the obvious.

“How about the Roadhouse?”

Cas grinned. “That’s still around? Good choice!”

They walked outside and to Cas’ car. It was an old, gold LTD. Dean just had to chuckle when he saw it.

“Driving a pimpmobile these days?”

Cas laughed. “Hey, say what you will, it runs well and I like it.”

They got in and Cas started to drive. Cas reached over and put a hand on Dean’s thigh. 

“I missed you Dean. I missed you every day.”

Dean didn’t say anything but he didn’t move Cas’ hand either.

 


	2. Chapter 2

When they got there, Cas gave Dean’s thigh a squeeze and they got out of the car. When they walked inside, Ellen was behind the bar. She looked up and did a double take.

“Cas? Cas Novak, is that you?” She ran over and gave Cas a huge hug.

She hugged Dean too, saying it had been too long since she’d seen him.

They grabbed a booth and she brought them both a beer. They told her they wanted the usual and she grinned. “You got it. Damn it’s good to see you two again.”

When she left, Cas scooted closer to Dean.

“Please don’t do that, Cas.”

Cas sighed. “Oh come on, Dean. It’s not like I’m going to jump you in the middle of the Roadhouse. But I need to be close to you. I miss you, Dean. I missed you every day.”

Dean looked sad, but he didn’t say anything.

Cas waited, but when Dean didn’t speak, he said, “Oh come on, Dean! I know you missed me. Just admit it. You still have feelings for me.”

Dean looked Cas in the eye. “Yes, I missed you. Yes I still have feelings for you. I know it’s wrong, but I do.”

Cas smiled. “There’s my boy.”

Dean stiffened. “Don’t call me that! I’m not your boy, not anymore. What we did was wrong, Cas. I pray every day for forgiveness.”

Cas looked angry. “We didn’t do anything we need to be forgiven for! If your God thinks it’s wrong for two people to love one another, then you need a new God.”

Dean shook his head. “I never should have come here with you. Why are you here? What do you want of me?”

Cas put his hand on Dean’s thigh again. Dean looked down at it then back up at Cas.

“Dean, I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. I  _ know _ you love me! I want us to be together. That’s why I’m back. I want you back.”

Dean felt like he was going to cry. “Cas, no. I’m a priest for fuck’s sake! I can’t give up my vows for you. You should have stayed gone.”

“I tried. I really did. But I had to come back. I need you, Dean. I never loved anyone else. It almost killed me when you left me. Please, Dean.”

Dean did cry then. A single tear leaked out of his eye and ran down his cheek.

Ellen brought the food and Dean quickly wiped it away.

Cas took a bite of his burger and asked, “So, how’s Sam?”

Dean took a deep breath. “He’s fine. Still in Frisco, still a lawyer. He got married.”

Cas smirked. “Sam’s married? What a trip.”

Dean managed a smile. “Yeah, but she’s sweet and good for him.”

They ate in silence after that.

Dean swirled a french fry in some ketchup. “How’s Gabe?”

Cas chuckled. “He’s the same as always. Drives everyone nuts.”

Dean smiled. “I see you finished getting your sleeve.”

Cas grinned. “Yeah, I did. It goes all the way over my shoulder.”

Dean nodded. “It really looks nice.”

They finished and Cas paid the bill. Dean offered to tip but Cas brushed him off.

They walked back to the car. Before Dean could get in, Cas turned him around and pushed him up against the fender. He kissed Dean.

Dean resisted at first. He tried to stop Cas, but he knew he didn’t really want Cas to stop. He kissed Cas back. They kissed for a minute or two, with Cas holding Dean’s face and Dean with his arms at his sides. 

Dean knew it was wrong, and he asked for forgiveness even as it was happening. 

The kiss broke and Dean turned around. He opened the door to the car and got in.

“Take me back, Cas.”

Cas sighed deeply and walked around to get in the car. Before he started it up, he turned to Dean. “You kissed me back. You know you want me. Why are you fighting it? You know we belong together!”

Dean looked out the side window and never answered. Cas started the car up and drove back to the rectory.

When Cas turned off the car, Dean knew he should get out and just go inside, but he sat there.

Cas put a hand on his arm.

“I’m not going to give up, Dean.”

Dean nodded. He opened the door and turned back to look at Cas.

He struggled to think of something to say, but he just couldn’t think of anything that would be appropriate. He got out and walked inside, leaving Cas sitting there.

When he got in, he fell to his knees. 

“Please, God, why are you testing me like this? Please, make Cas leave, go back to Lebanon.. I’m trying to be strong, trying to do the right thing here. But i’m afraid. I’m weak. Please, help me to be strong.”

He couldn’t sleep, so he got back up and did some paperwork. When Mrs. Hudson arrived, he had coffee and she fixed him breakfast, but he couldn’t eat. He just went to the church and sat. 

One of his parishioners, Bela Talbot, came to talk to him about the problems she was having with her son. They talked for awhile. When she got up and left, Dean looked around.

Cas was sitting a few rows back. He grinned at Dean.

Dean sighed deeply and went to him, sitting down close to him but not too close.

“I’m not going to give up, Dean. I mean it.”

Dean wanted to cry. He wanted to grab Cas and kiss him, let Cas pull his clothes off and make love to him. His cock was stirring and he willed it to stop but it wouldn’t. He kept his hands in fists on his thighs.

“I can’t Cas. I just can’t.”

“I’m not going to give up.”

Dean got up and walked away.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Cas sat there all morning and into the early afternoon. He watched Dean go about his work and smiled every time Dean looked at him. When it was time for Dean to eat lunch, he walked to Cas.

“You gonna just sit here all day?”

Cas grinned. “Yep. Not going anywhere until you at least agree to talk to me about this.”

Dean sighed. “Come on, let’s get some lunch.”

Cas got up and followed Dean to the rectory. Mrs. Hudson was dusting when they arrived.

“Mrs. Hudson, this is an old friend of mine from high school, Castiel Novak. Cas, this is my housekeeper, Mrs. Hudson.”

Cas shook the woman’s hand. Then he followed Dean into the kitchen, where they sat down at the table. Mrs. Hudson got out lunch and served it to them.  Cas thanked her and she blushed.

“Yes, Thank you, Mrs.Hudson. That will be all.” Dean didn’t need her to hear anything Cas might say.

Lunch was sandwiches and chips. They each had a cup of coffee. Cas ate like he was starving.

“Damn, this is good! You eat like this every day?”

Dean chuckled. “Yes, Mrs. Hudson is a great cook. Why don’t you stay for dinner?’ 

The second he said it, he regretted it. He wasn’t thinking. But he couldn’t take it back.

Cas grinned brightly. “I’d love to! Thanks, Dean. I’d really like that.”

Dean could have kicked himself but resigned himself to it.

After lunch, Dean told Cas he had some chores to do. Cas said he’d be in the chapel, and went back to where he was sitting. 

Dean couldn’t believe it but Cas sat there all day. The only time he wasn’t there watching Dean is when he went to the bathroom.

Finally the day was done, and Dean walked up to Cas.

“It’s dinner time. Come on if you’re coming.”

They walked back to the rectory. When they got in, Cas asked where Mrs. Hudson was.

“She goes home to her family at four.”

Cas grinned. “So we’re here alone?”

Dean said yes they were and walked to the kitchen to see what was waiting for them.

Mrs. Hudson had made pot roast, potatoes and carrots. Dean loved her pot roast.

He served them both and got them both a beer. They sat and when Cas took a bite, he moaned appreciatively. It gave Dean shivers to hear that.

“Man this is good! I’m surprised you don’t weigh three hundred pounds.”

After they were finished, Cas helped Dean wash up the dishes. Then they got another beer and went to sit in the living room.

Cas sat down on the couch and pulled Dean down to sit next to him. Dean did, but he kept his distance.

“Dean, do you still love me?” Cas asked him.

Dean hesitated. Finally he said, “Yes, Cas. I still love you. I’m pretty sure I always will. But that doesn’t mean we can be together, or that I’m going to turn my back on my calling.”

Cas smiled. “I get that you feel a calling. Hell. I got it back then. But you also have a calling… to me. We belong together, Dean. I know it and I know you know it. I know you felt like we were sinning in high school. I still don‘t think we were, but I understood that you did. But you left me, you left me to become a priest and it just about killed me.”

Dean looked away. He remembered when he walked away from Cas. He thought that was the worst pain he’d ever feel. But this may have been even more painful.

Dean had struggled with his decision every day since. He questioned it, prayed over it, cried himself to sleep over it. But at last he’d made his peace with it. And now here was Cas, so near, pleading with him all over again.

Cas touched his leg. “When I kissed you last night, Dean you kissed me back. You wanted it. I know you did. You can’t tell me you didn’t want it.”

Dean looked back at Cas. “Yes, I wanted it. But it doesn’t change the fact that it is wrong. I know times have changed. Being gay isn’t the sin it used to be. It’s become acceptable. But I’m a priest. It’s wrong for me to want another man. It would be wrong for me to want a woman. I can’t change who I am.”

Cas looked so sad, it broke Dean’s heart. “You can change it, Dean. You can leave the priesthood. Men do it all the time. You can leave.”

“I can’t, Cas. I made a commitment to the church, to God. I need to honor it. Please, just leave me to it. Go, live your life. Find a man who’ll make you happy.”

Cas had tears in his eyes. “I can’t! The only man who makes me happy is you. You’re all I want, all I’ve ever wanted.”

Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned over and kissed Cas. Cas grabbed his face and pulled him close. Dean let Cas push his tongue into his mouth. He felt himself slipping…

He pulled away. “Go. Cas, please, just go.”

Cas stood up. “I’ll leave but I’m going to be right back in that church tomorrow. You can’t stop me.”

Cas left and Dean felt like he was dying. He got on his knees and prayed for strength and forgiveness. He got up and took a shower. It was all he could do not to grab his cock and run his hand over it, thinking about Cas.

Dean felt like he was lost. He wondered where God was in all of this. He needed God. But God was silent.

 


	4. Chapter 4

True to his word, Cas was back the next day. Dean went about his day, Cas watched him, always smiling. He even winked at Dean a couple of times. Dean did his best to ignore him.

But then lunch time rolled around again, and Dean felt bad to leave Cas sitting there while he was eating, so he took him back to the rectory for lunch. Mrs. Hudson greeted him warmly.

“You need to make meals for two for the next few days, Mrs. Hudson. Cas is here on vacation and will be joining me while he’s here.” Cas grinned.

“Can’t let you starve,” Dean told Cas.

They ate, chatting about old friends from high school. Dean was laughing at a memory when he started to cry. Cas got up and put his arms around him.

“Don’t cry, baby. It kills me when you cry.”

Dean felt like his world was coming apart. He had been so careful putting Cas in a box, putting his memories away and never taking them out to look at them, and now, Cas was holding him and he felt lost.

He sucked it up, wiping his face on a napkin and pulling away from Cas. 

“I’m good. I’m fine.” Cas went back and sat down.

The rest of the day went by with Dean feeling like he was in a dream. He felt like he was sleepwalking. Every time he looked up, there was Cas. And he looked up a lot. He couldn’t help himself.

At the end of the day, Dean walked up to Cas. “Go home, Cas. I’m closing up the chapel.”

Cas looked shocked. “What, no dinner?’

Dean shook his head. “No dinner. Not tonight. Just go home.” He turned and walked away.

When he locked up, there was no sign of Cas. Relieved, Dean went to the rectory and ate. 

He watched some TV. Dr. Sexy M.D. was on. It was his one guilty pleasure. He drank whiskey, with the intention of getting drunk.

He was off the next day. Everyone knew he didn’t work on Wednesdays. Mrs. Hudson was off as well. He thought about what to do with his day off, and he assumed Cas would be there. There was no getting around Cas being there. Even if he didn’t tell Cas it was his day off, he knew Cas would stalk him or show up here. He sighed. He would have to be strong and he was feeling so weak.

Finally he was drunk enough to go to bed. He staggered to the bedroom and stripped. He pulled on sleep pants and lay there. His hand wandered down to touch himself. 

He hadn’t masturbated in quite awhile. He knew it was a sin, but sometimes he just couldn’t help himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed his cock.

It was over quickly. He willed himself not to think of Cas. He got up and cleaned himself off, and fell into a deep sleep.

He woke up at the usual time. He was trained to wake up then. His head was killing him. He went and got a couple aspirin and drank a glass of water.

He went to the kitchen but nothing looked good, so he took a shower. Letting the hot water flow over him helped. He dressed in street clothes. One day a week, he wasn’t a priest.

He wondered if Cas was in the chapel, so he went there. It was empty and he felt a small twinge of sadness. Maybe Cas was gone. He didn’t know how he felt about that. 

He went back to the rectory, trying to decide what to do with his day. 

He was feeling better, so he decided to go out to breakfast. He locked up and walked to the parking lot. Cas was leaning on his car, smiling.

“So, day off, huh? What are we going to do with it?” Cas looked amazing. Dean took in Cas’ tight shirt, his skin tight jeans and his stomach flipped.

“First, I need something to eat,” he said. “Then, we’ll see.”

Cas grinned. “Sounds good to me. My car or yours?”

He slid behind the wheel of baby. He usually only got to drive her once a week, unless he was called to the hospital or someone’s home. He loved this car. It was the only thing he had left from his father, who had died when he was a senior in High school. He took meticulous care of her. 

Cas got in and he drove to his favorite diner. They got a booth and ordered breakfast. Dean snuck peeks at Cas, not wanting Cas to see but needing to look at him. He was so fucking handsome, he had always just taken Dean’s breath away. Dean still was amazed that Cas had chosen him. He was invisible in high school, just being the nerdy kid. When Cas had set his sights on Dean, everyone was amazed. But Cas had won him over, and in no time they were a couple.

Cas was the bad boy. He had tats, smoked, did whatever the fuck he wanted when he wanted to do it. Dean was swept up by his aura of danger, but more than that, he loved him in no time flat.

Dean needed to keep their relationship a secret. His dad was ex-military and rabidly homophobic. His mother was long dead. But he kept the secret not only to keep his father from finding out, because he was ashamed. 

Raised in a catholic home, Dean had religion drilled into him from before he could remember. Every Sunday there was church. He had been an altar boy when he was younger. He believed in God. believed that what he and Cas had was a sin. He spent many nights praying for his immortal soul.

Then Dean’s father died. Sammy went to live with their uncle Bobby and Dean was left to finish his senior year. He became convinced that his father died for his sin. He couldn’t shake the feeling. He was guilty in the eyes of God and now he was being punished.

He decided that the only way to atone was to go into the priesthood. Cas had begged, pleaded, threatened, but Dean was determined. He left Cas and went to atone for sinning.

And now, here he was. Cas was back, he was weak and he was losing his faith. He never got an answer to his prayers, even before Cas showed up. And he definitely wasn’t getting any answers since.

 


	5. Chapter 5

They finished their meals and sat sipping coffee. Cas turned to Dean, asking what was next.

Dean thought, then said, “Let’s go to see a movie.”

They got seats in the back row. It was where they always used to sit when they went to movies and it was just second nature to sit there now. The movie started and Dean struggled to pay attention.

Cas put his hand on Dean’s crotch and Dean sucked in a breath. He didn’t do or say anything, Cas began to rub his hand over Dean’s cock and it responded immediately. Cas sighed. Dean knew he should stop Cas but it seemed impossible to do. He just sat there, gripping the armrests and let Cas fondle him.

Then Cas slipped to the floor. He undid Dean’s pants and reached in, pulling Dean’s hard cock out. Dean stiffened but again, he didn’t do or say anything to stop Cas.

Cas kissed the head of his cock. If felt so good… Dean bit his lip in an attempt to not moan. Then Cas sucked the head into his mouth. It was all Dean could do not to thrust. Dean closed his eyes and let his head fall back, his breath short.

Cas suckled on the head and then swirled his tongue along the ridge. Dean’s world reduced to Cas’ mouth on him. When Cas sucked down, Dean moaned quietly. 

Cas took him all in, down to the base. Cas never did seem to have a gag reflex and it was obvious now he still didn’t. Cas held there, then swallowed, creating that pressure that drove Dean wild. Then Cas sucked back up, then down again. He ran his tongue along the underside of Dean’s cock on the way back up. 

Cas kept it up until Dean was so close, he whispered that he was going to cum. Cas just held the head of Dean’s cock in his mouth and Dean filled it. He thrust a little and knew Cas was swallowing. He came so hard he saw swirls of color behind his eyelids. He cried out quietly.

Cas popped his mouth off with an obscene sound and put Dean back inside his pants. He zipped Dean back up and got back in his chair.

“You still taste so fucking good, Dean. I’ve been dreaming about that ever since you left.”

Dean took a deep breath, then turned his head and kissed Cas. He tasted his cum inside Cas’ mouth. Cas held him by the back of his neck and kissed him passionately.

When they broke for air, Dean whispered, “Where are you staying?”

He drove to Cas’ motel. He very purposely didn’t think about what they were about to do. When they were leaving the movie theatre, he asked… no, to be more accurate he  _ dared _ God to stop him. He was leaving it in God’s hands.

They got to Cas’ room. They went inside. Cas grabbed him and pushed him against a wall. He kissed Dean with all the heat Dean remembered, slotting his leg between Dean’s and rubbing against him. Dean was responding as if no time had passed between them. He left his mind open to any response from God. He got nothing.

Cas was stripping his clothes off. Dean pulled Cas’ shirt off and ran his hands over Cas’ lean chest. He paused, looking at Cas’ tattoo. It was beautiful full of angels and demons. Dean made a mental note to look at it carefully later.

Dean was nude, lying on the bed watching Cas take his pants off. When Cas’ cock sprang out of his underwear, Dean took a deep breath. Cas had the most gorgeous cock Dean had ever seen. It was thick and long and uncut. It hung heavy between his legs. In front of two perfect balls. Dean’s mouth watered.

Then Cas was straddling him. Cas’ cock touched Dean’s and Dean moaned. He grabbed Cas around the back of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Cas thrust his tongue into Dean’s mouth and went exploring. Dean sucked on Cas’ tongue and it was like sucking candy. 

Cas kissed along Dean’s jaw and ran his tongue along the shell of Dean’s ear. Then he worked his way down Dean’s throat. Dean moved his head to the side to give Cas access.

Cas worked his way to Dean’s nipples. He sucked on one while he pinched the other with his fingers. Dean had always had sensitive nipples and he moaned and pushed up against Cas’ mouth.

Cas kissed and licked his way down over Dean’s belly. He bypassed Dean’s hard cock, standing tall and leaking precum even though he’s just come a bit ago. He licked over Dean’s balls and sucked on into his mouth, gently rolling it around and then letting it drop.

Dean spread his legs wide and Cas moved down between them. He kissed along the inside of each of Dean’s thighs. Dean thought he was losing his mind, it was so good… felt so right.

Finally Dean lifted his legs, giving Cas access to his ass. He felt so vulnerable, but he was so needy at the same time. He needed this, needed Cas to take him, make him whole again.

Cas kissed his hole and Dean cried out. Cas grabbed a bottle of lube that sat by the head of his bed and sat back. Pouring some into his palm. When he slid the finger into Dean, Dean knew he was lost. He wanted this more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. 

Dean clenched down on Cas’ finger, it had been such a long time and it felt both weird and wonderful at the same time. He relaxed and Cas began to move it around. 

Dean groaned at the burn when Cas slid the second finger into him. It felt huge, but he knew instinctively how big Cas was and that it was going to take a lot more than just two fingers to get him ready.

Cas found his prostate as if he remembered exactly where it was. Knowing Cas, he did. Dean arched his back and moaned loudly. Cas worked him into a frenzy.

He hardly knew when the third finger slid in him. Cas slowly worked him open and he was feeling so needy… so aroused, he was afraid he’d come before Cas even got inside him. He struggled for control

When Cas finally pulled his fingers out and grabbed the lube, Dean was begging Cas to fuck him. Cas smiled and kissed him, and when he did, he slid the head of his cock into Dean.

Dean gasped at how big Cas was. He knew, but this was different. It was like the first time. Only better. Dean grabbed Cas’ arms and dug his fingers in.

Cas slowly slid in all the way. Dean knew he was being split in half and he wanted it, needed it like he needed oxygen. He pushed back against Cas and Cas began to slowly fuck him.

Feeling Cas’ big cock inside him,, feeling it running in and out and dragging on his rim… Dean was reduced to where they were joined. Nothing else existed but Cas inside him.

When he needed more, he told Cas, “Faster… harder…” 

Cas was ramming in and out and Dean came. He came harder than in the movie theatre, harder than he ever remembered. He yelled and thrust against Cas and shot thick white ropes of cum all over both of them. 

Cas cried out and came too. Dean felt every shot that Cas gave him, filling him. Dean clung to Cas. When it was over, Cas laid on him, still inside him. “I love you so much, Dean. I love you. You’re it for me. I love you.”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and whispered, “I love you, too, Cas. I always have. I always will.”

God remained silent.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Dean laid his head on Cas’ chest and Cas wrapped his arms around him. Dean felt safer than he had in a long time. 

“So what changed?” Cas asked him.

Dean sighed. “God never answered me.”

Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean.

“You thought God would talk to you?”

Dean snorted. “Not like that. I just needed a sign, something that told me what to do. And not just with you. I’ve needed a sign for a long time. But nothing ever happened.”

Cas hugged Dean tighter.

“I’d like to say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I love you and I need you. If God had given you a sign not to be with me. I’d have a real problem with Him. Right now, I’m kinda liking the dude.”

Dean sighed. “That’s no way to talk about God, Cas.”

“Oh come on, Dean. You said yourself he wasn’t talking to you. But I’m sorry, I don’t want to get into a fight over God.” Cas kissed him. Dean put his head back down on Cas’ chest and sighed.

They fell asleep for awhile. Dean woke up with Cas kissing him. He kissed back and Cas pulled him on top. He kissed Cas and held himself up with his forearms.

Cas rutted against him and he got hard. He could feel Cas’ cock, hard and leaking precum, pressed against his belly.

Dean moaned as Cas ran his hands down his sides and grabbed his ass cheeks. Cas pulled then apart and then slipped a finger into Dean. Dean groaned. He was still pretty loose and had some lube inside him, as well as a lot of Cas’cum. Cas slipped two fingers easily into him.

Dean pushed his ass back against Cas’ fingers. He pumped his ass so that the fingers fucked him. But he needed more, and he moaned.

Cas grabbed him with his free arm and flipped them over, so that he was now on top. Dean spread his legs and lifted them and Cas continued to pump his fingers in and out.

“I need you so much, Dean. I want you so bad…” Cas breathed hot in Dean’s ear.

“Yes, Cas, please…”

Cas pulled his fingers out and grabbed the lube. Dean watched as he lubed up his cock. 

Cas pulled one of Dean’s legs against his chest and pushed into him. Dean groaned and pushed back, desperate to get all of Cas inside him.

Even open as he was, Cas still stretched him, filled him. Dean grabbed Cas’ arm and clutched it. 

“Cas please… fuck me hard..”

Cas pulled back and rammed back into him, with Dean meeting the thrust. Cas groaned.

“Still so fucking tight, fuck, Dean.”

Dean chuckled. “That’s because you’re hung like an elephant, Cas.”

Cas snorted. He plowed into Dean and Dean began to moan and tightened his hold on Cas’ arms.

Cas began a litany of, “I love you, Dean. I love you so much. I”m nothing without you, baby. I love you..”

Dean didn’t say anything. Oh, how he wanted to, but he was afraid. He was afraid of where this was going, afraid of where it would end and even if it would end. He was afraid of the decision he was going to have to make, afraid of loving Cas as much as he did… he was nearly paralyzed with fear. But he could feel this.

Cas snapped his hips and Dean groaned again. It was so good, just like coming home from a long trip or waking up from a horrible nightmare. Dean felt his oragsm building.

Cas let Dean’s leg down, and Dean pulled them up next to his head. Cas bent over him, raising Dean’s ass off the bed. Cas kissed him and Dean came.

He shot cum all over both of them, whining. Cas held him and told him, “I got you baby. I got you.”

Cas came inside him. Dean could feel every spurt. He clenched down on Cas’ cock and Cas groaned.

Cas pulled out and Dean could feel cum running out of him and down the crack of his ass. Cas collapsed next to Dean and sighed contentedly.

They lay together for a bit, then Dean said, “Need to get cleaned up. I’m starving.”

Cas smiled at him. “You always get hungry after great sex.”

Dean chuckled and playfully punched Cas’ arm.

An hour later they were sitting in a booth at the Roadhouse. Cas was doing a good job keeping his hands to himself. Dean didn’t need everyone to know what he was doing. 

Dean bit into his cheeseburger and moaned. Cas looked at him with a twinkle in his eye.

“Stop that, or I won’t be responsible for what happens.”

Dean grinned and nodded.

When they were done. Dean told Cas he needed to get home. Cas looked at him sadly.

“I wish we could just walk away from this. I wish you’d come back with me and just leave this behind.”

Dean looked even sadder than Cas did.

“I just can’t, Cas. I’ve got to think. I need to make some hard decisions.”

Cas touched his arm. “I get it. Take me back and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Dean went inside and turned on a light. The place was so quiet… He missed Cas already.

He grabbed his rosary and went to the chapel. He knelt down and crossed himself, clutching his rosary.

He prayed. He told God that he knew he had sinned, that he knew he was unworthy. He begged for a sign to tell him what to do. He begged for forgiveness. He cried.

There was nothing but silence.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Dean showered and went to bed, even though he wasn’t sleepy. He lay awake, trying to think, trying to decide what to do. It was too overwhelming, too scary. He just stared at the ceiling. He missed Cas and that scared him too.

He considered going to talk to the Bishop but he knew that was pointless. The Bishop would just give him penance and tell him to never see Cas again. Dean wasn’t sure that would help him.

If he were being totally honest with himself, he’d lost his faith a long time ago. He just went through the motions but he didn’t really know if he even believed in God anymore. And just praying and doing penance wasn’t going to change that.

He was older now, more mature but also more jaded than when he was in high school. Back then, he believed in the church, believed in sin and hell and heaven. He believed that God answered prayers. Now he was not so sure.

Not that it was all bad. He knew he helped people, not just spiritually but actually helped them. He ran a food bank and a clothing bank. He opened the church up for the homeless when it got cold. His church did good works in the neighborhood, and he was proud of them.

On the other hand, Cas made him happy. He made Cas happy, and was that such a bad thing? Didn’t the two of them deserve to be happy?

He drifted into an uneasy sleep, and woke up just as confused as when he fell asleep.

When he went out to the kitchen, Mrs. Hudson was there fixing breakfast.

Saying good morning, Dean got himself a cup of coffee and sat down, sighing.

Mre. Hudson turned and looked at him. 

“Forgive me, Father, but I’m going to say something here, and if you fire me, I guess I’ll just have to live with it.”

Dean smiled at her. “You can say anything to me, Mrs. Hudson. You ought to know that by now.”

Mrs Hudson smiled at him. “Your friend, Mr. Novak, he’s more than just a friend, isn’t he?”

Dean opened his mouth, but closed it again when he couldn’t think of anything to say.

Mrs. Hudson sat down across from Dean and put her hand on top of his.

“I’ve never seen you as happy as you are around that man. You light up, and it’s wonderful to see. I’ve been worried about you for some time, but when you’re with him… everything changes. I’d like to see you with him, well... forever. I hope I haven’t overstepped my bounds.”

Dean closed his eyes, but opened them again and looked at her. “You haven’t, Mrs. Hudson. And thank you. Really;”

She got back up, dished up his breakfast and then left the room. Dean ate, thinking about what she had said. He got a crazy idea.

What if  _ this _ was the sign he’d been looking for? Mrs. Hudson had never talked like that before to him, let alone encouraged him to be in a gay relationship. Dean wondered.

Dean went out to the chapel and there sat Cas. Dean grinned at him and Cas grinned back and added a wink.

Then a woman came in and told Dean she needed to talk. He took her to his office and they sat down.

The woman proceeded to tell Dean that her son had come out to her as being gay. She was proud of him and just wanted Dean’s opinion on how best to keep her son safe at school. They had a nice, long discussion and then she left.

Dean was getting excited. Was that two signs now?

When an altar boy came to him to talk about being gay, he took it as the third sign.

After talking at length with the boy, he went to find Cas. Cas was sitting in his usual spot, in the fifth pew from the front.

Dean sat down beside him with a huge smile on his face.

“Cas, I’ve made my decision. I’m leaving the priesthood. I’m coming with you.”

The shock on Cas’ face lasted only a moment, then he broke out in a grin to match Dean’s. He hugged him and kissed him. And Dean let him.

Dean broke the kiss. “I have to go see the Bishop. I’ll do that first thing tomorrow. But I got my signs and now I know what is the right thing to do. It’s to be with you.”

Cas asked Dean about what the signs were and Dean explained them. Cas was, of course, skeptical, but he wasn’t about to question Dean’s perception of what happened.

Dean took Cas back to the rectory to have lunch. Mrs. Hudson was there and smiled at both of them.

“Mrs. Hudson. I want you to be the first to know, since you helped me make this decision. I’ve decided to leave the priesthood to be with Cas.”

The woman started to cry, but assured both of them that they were happy tears.

“I’ll miss you terribly, but you are doing the right thing. You deserve all the happiness you can get in this life.”

They all hugged and then Dean and Cas ate their lunch.

Cas told Dean all about where he lived. He was in Lebanon Kansas now, and was working as an interpreter for the college there. Plus he helped other colleges when they needed something interpreted. He said he made good money, enough to support both of them.

Dean told him he would want to work, but at least this would give him time to find just the right job.

They were both so happy, it was hard for Dean to go back to work, but he knew he needed to tie things up, get the parish ready for the next priest. 

When dinner time arrived, Dean took Cas back to the rectory,

“I want you to spend the night with me. I can’t stand the idea of spending another night away from you.”

Cas was more than happy to oblige.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Dean’s bed wasn’t nearly as big as the one in Cas’ hotel room but they didn’t care one bit. It just meant they got to cuddle up closer than ever. Cas was kissing Dean tenderly, nibbling on his ear and kissing down his throat. Dean was holding his breath, so needy and aroused all ready.

It suddenly occurred to Dean that he didn’t have any lube.

“Cas, wait.” Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean.

“I don’t have any lube. Never had a need for it…”

Cas grinned. “Guess we’re just going to have to make do with spit.”

Dean was both aroused and frightened by that idea.

Dean forgot all about his fear when Cas began to nibble and suck on his nipples.

Cas worked his mouth down across Dean’s belly, Dean’s cock was so hard it ached. When Cas told him to get on his hands and knees, he flipped over happily.

Cas kissed Dean’s thighs and each of his ass cheeks. Then he used his hands to spread Dean’s ass wide. He licked over Dean’s hole and Dean gasped and grabbed the covers.

Cas teased his tongue around Dean’s tight hole and Dean was making sounds like he was either dying or losing his mind.

Finally Cas shoved the tip of his tongue into Dean. Dean jerked and pushed back against Cas.

Cas played his tongue around inside of Dean until the saliva was dripping down his balls and Dean was begging for more.

Cas pulled his face back and slowly shoved a finger in. Dean clenched down on the burn.

“Relax, Dean. Take a couple of deep breaths… relax.”

Dean took a few deep breaths and his hole relaxed enough for Cas to shove his finger in all the way. Cas found Dean’s prostate and rubbed it, making Dean whimper.

Cas took his time which was both a relief and maddening to Dean. He wanted more but he didn’t want it to hurt.

When Cas pushed a second finger in, it burned less and stopped right away. Dean pushed back on Cas’ hand, letting him know it was okay. Cas began to move his fingers around, scissoring him open. Dean moaned loudly, knowing that no one could hear them.

Cas worked up to where he had four fingers in Dean and Dean was just wrecked. He was begging Cas to fuck him.

“Hold on, babe. I’m getting there.”

Dean looked back at Cas. “If you don’t hurry up, I’m going to find someone who will!!”

Cas laughed. “You aren’t going to do that, Baby. You’re mine and you know it. Stop being bossy.”

Dean just humphed.

Cas pulled hins fingers out and sat back, looking at Dean’s hole and smiled. He let a long tendril of saliva fall from his mouth to Dean’s open hole and then pushed the head of his cock in.

Dean let out a long groan. It burned but it was already getting better, so Dean pushed back against Cas.

“Fuck, you are so beautiful like this, baby. My fat cock spreading you open, you taking it all… I love you so much…” Cas slid in all the way, holding on to Dean’s hips in a death grip that was sure to leave bruises.

Dean felt so full… Cas’ big cock was just enough and too much at the same time.

“I love you too…” 

Cas pulled back and shoved back in, and Dean reached a hand back and grabbed onto Cas’ arm. Cas established a steady rhythm and they were quiet. 

But finally Dean needed more. “Cas. harder...fuck me harder,,, please…”

Cas smiled and began to ram in and out of Dean. Every few thrusts he pulled out all the way and forced his cock back into Dean. He loved watching his cock disappear inside Dean. Always had.

Cas felt his balls tighten but didn’t want to cum before Dean did. He squeezed the base of his cock until the feeling passed, then reached around and grabbed Dean’s cock. Dean jerked and then began to rut his cock into Cas’ fist while he rocked back on Cas’ cock.

“Fuck! I’m… “ Dean shot all over Cas’ hand and the bed.

Cas felt Dean clench and he came too. He thrust through his orgasm, then collapsed on Dean’s back. Dean fell forward and Cas lay on top of him. They both struggled to catch their breath. 

Cas rolled off Dean and pulled him over on his side. He pulled Dean to him and Dean kissed him.

“So, no lube huh?” Cas laughed.

Dean frowned at him. “Look, I jacked off maybe twice a year and even then I felt guilty as hell. Hand lotion worked just fine.”

Cas stared at him.  “So are you telling me that in six years, you only got off about 12 times?”

Dean looked away. “If that. It is considered a sin. I mean it is stupid to think that a priest never does it, but we are taught that it is against our vows of chastity.”

Cas shook his head. “Jesus… that’s fucked up. I can’t imagine you not getting yourself off more often than that.”

“It got easier as time went by. I just tried not to think about it. And please don’t say ‘Jesus’.”

Cas sighed. “Okay, I’ll try to remember that but you need to be patient with me on that one.”

Dean hugged him. “I think I can handle that. Priest and everything.”

Cas chuckled. 

Dean yawned. Cas kissed him and told him to go to sleep. “I’m not going anywhere, babe. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Dean sighed and laid his head on Cas’ chest. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and Dean was asleep in minutes.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dean’s meeting with the Bishop went just about how he expected it to. The Bishop told him to pray over it before he made any decision, and Dean told him he had already. Then he told Dean it was a huge step that would leave his immortal soul in jeopardy. Dean felt a little nauseous but he replied that he was willing to take that chance.

When the Bishop told him that homosexuality was a sin and he would burn in hell for it, Dean had heard enough.

“My God is utterly indifferent to sexual preferences,” Dean told him, getting up and walking out. He added over his shoulder that he would wait for his replacement so that the church wouldn’t suffer for lack of a priest, but then he was leaving.

Cas was sympathetic but hardly surprised. He held Dean while Dean cried.

“I’m not crying because of my decision, I just want you to know that. I’m fine with it,” Dean said with tears running down his face.

Cas wiped them away, “I know, baby. It’s hard for you and I know that.”

“I feel like I’ve wasted close to seven years of my life. Years we could have been together, Instead I was just fooling myself. Thinking that I was doing God’s work when all I was doing was… was…” Dean sniffed.

Cas held him. “You didn’t waste those years, Dean. You helped people, you did good, I know you did.”

Dean shook his head but didn’t say anything.

Dean pulled himself together and went back to work. He needed to write his sermon and explain that he was leaving. Dean worked and Cas set up his laptop in the kitchen and did some translation work. Cas all but moved into the rectory.

Dean was very passionate with Cas. Cas loved it but Dean was getting sort of insatiable and needy with him. Cas just chalked it up to all that Dean was going through emotionally.

Sunday came and Dean gave his sermon. People were very upset to hear he was leaving, and a lot of them went to confession just because it might be their last chance with Father Dean.

When the last person left the confessional, Dean stuck his head out and motioned Cas to enter the booth. When Cas got inside, he started to sit.

“Stay standing…” Dea spoke quietly. He slid the door open that separated the two areas and reached a hand through. He swiftly unzipped Cas’ pants and while he did, he whispered, “You’re going to have to be quiet.”

Dean leaned into the opening and pulled Cas close. He pulled out Cas’ cock and began to rub his hand up and down, giving Cas an erection.

Cas gasped and Dean hushed him. He leaned closer and put the head of Cas’ dick in his mouth. He sucked on it and Cas pushed his hips closer to the open space.

Dean sucked on just the head for a minute or two, swirling his tongue around it and under the ridge. Then he sucked down Cas’ length as much as he could. He couldn’t get it all in is mouth due to the awkward position they were in, but Cas didn’t mind a bit. 

Cas reached down and cupped his balls, desperately trying to not make a sound. He bit his bottom lip and used his other hand to lean against the wall.

Dean sucked in his cheeks to create a suction and moved his mouth up and down the shaft. He used his tongue to lick up the underside, where the main vein was, as he moved up. Cas’ knees were shaking.

Cas wanted desperately to touch Dean, to grab his hair and hold him so that he could fuck Dean’s mouth but he was helpless. He only got what Dean gave him.

Cas squeezed his balls and felt the heat spreading out from them. He knew he couldn’t warn Dean and he really didn’t need to. He thrust his hips a little more towards Dean and came. 

Dean sucked every drop out of Cas. Then he just held Cas’ softening cock in his mouth. 

Cas caught his breath and pulled his cock out of Dean’s mouth with a sucking sound that seemed to echo in the small space.

Cas tucked himself back into his pants and opened the door, stepping out. Dean opened his door, smiling. 

“Fuck, Dean, what was that? Aren’t you afraid we;ll get caught?”

Dean grinned at him. “Don’t give a fuck if we are. I always wanted to do that, so I did it.”

Cas shook his head and followed Dean back to the rectory. 

After dinner, Dean was all over Cas again.

“You’re turning into a real power bottom on me. What’s going on with you, Dean?

Dean frowned. “I’m just making up for lost time. I’m sure you weren’t celibate for all these years.”

Cas winced. “Well no, I wasn’t. But I want you to know there were no relationships. None. No one could make me forget about you. Every guy I was with, I just saw your face.”

Dean reached out a hand and cupped Cas’ face. “I love you. And I’m just so thankful that you came here and that I finally got my head out of my ass. Now, I just want you in my ass. So get in that bedroom, mister!”

Cas smiled. He really didn’t mind fucking Dean a lot, in fact, it was awesome. So he put his worry aside and did just that.

But later, when Dean was sleeping peacefully beside him. Cas began to worry again. While Dean was always up for sex in the old days, he was never like this. All Dean seemed to want to do was fuck, and as much as Cas was down for it, he still wondered if this wasn’t just a manifestation of something else, something emotional that Dean wasn’t dealing with. Only time would tell. Cas turned over and went to sleep.

 


	10. Chapter 10

A couple of days went by. Dean was like a rabid dog when it came to sex, but he still was taking care of the business of the church.

One day, Dean was wearing his vestments when he pulled Cas in a room where they kept some supplies. He pulled up the back of his vestments and showed Cas he was naked as the day he was born under them. Cas bent him over a table and fucked him senseless. Cas was developing a kind of priest kink, thanks to Dean and his shenanigans. 

But then, one morning… Dean had his ass in the air and Cas was plowing like he was planting crops.

“Uh, anyone in there?”

Cas froze, and Dean looked back over his shoulder as a young priest walked into the room. The priest froze, horrified and yet a little fascinated. 

“Oh… oh my lord… I… I’m sorry? Uh, I’ll just… go out and wait for you to… uh…. Finish.”

The priest backed out of the room, but never took his eyes off them.

Cas went to pull out, but Dean pushed back against him. “Don‘t stop.”

Cas was embarrassed. “But Dean, he’s waiting for you…”

“Let him wait. I need to finish.”

When they were done, they got dressed. They walked out to where the priest was waiting in the kitchen. When he looked up and saw them, he blushed.

Cas looked away. “I’ll just… uh… go somewhere else…”

Dean told him to stay.

The priest stood up and held out his hand. “My name is Garth, uh, Father Fitzgerald.”

When Dean took his hand to shake it, Garth pulled him into a tight hug.

“God still loves you man. The Lord still loves you and wants you to be happy. He is utterly indifferent to race, creed, color or… sexual orientation,”

Cas watched tears rise in Dean’s eyes. 

Dean pulled away, wiping furiously at them.

Garth grinned from ear to ear, and walked to Cas. Cas introduced himself and was hugged as well.

“So, where do we start? I’m really anxious to get started,” Garth smiled at Dean.

Dean turned to Cas. “I need to show Garth around. Meet you back here for lunch?”

Cas smiled and nodded. He went to find his laptop,

Dean showed Garth around. The young man was overly enthusiastic about everything he saw.

“This is your first posting, I take it,” Dean had to smile at the guy.

“Yes, sir.”

Dean told Garth to knock off the ‘sir’ bit and just call him Dean.

Garth stopped. “I think you’re brave, man. I admire you alot.”

Dean stared at him. “Admire? I’m a worthless sinner who abandoned his calling. There is nothing to admire about me.”

Garth looked sadly at him. “That’s just not true, Dean. You are following your heart. I can see you love Cas, and that’s the most important thing in the world. Love.”

Dean stared at him for a moment, then just turned and walked to the next room.

They walked into the kitchen. Cas was there, as was Mrs. Hudson. Dean introduced her to Garth and Garth, of course, hugged her.

Dean leaned over and kissed Cas. “Guess it’s time to start packing.”

Garth looked worried. “I was kinda hoping you’d stick around for at least a week, you know, to help me get settled?”

Dean nodded. “It’ll take me a few days to get packed. I’ll be here if you need me. But we need to get out of the rectory so you can settle in. We’ll go back to Cas’ hotel and just come here every day until I get organized.”

Garth looked relieved.

After lunch, Garth went to the chapel to familiarize himself with things, and Dean and Cas went to the bedroom. Dean grabbed a duffel bag from the bottom of the closet and began to toss in clothes. 

“Just gonna take enough to get me by for a week. By then, Garth should be up to speed and we can get on with our lives.” 

When Dean had everything, they went out to find Garth. He was in the chapel, looking in the confessional.

“Smells funny in here. I may need some air freshener.”

Dean and Cas looked at each other and grinned.

Dean told Garth he’d be back in the morning and they left. Dean got behind the wheel of his baby and they drove to Cas’ hotel.

When Dean got inside, he tossed his duffle down and spread his arms wide.

“I’m free! Free at last, free at last.”

Cas grabbed him and kissed him. Dean reached for Cas’ belt and undid it. Cas got the message and stripped Dean’s clothes off. When Dean was naked, Cas stood in front of him and took off his own clothes.

“Bend over the table.” Cas’ voice was dripping with domination. Dean walked to the table and bent over it, shoving his ass out.

Cas grabbed the lube and sat it next to Dean’s face. He slapped Dean’s ass sharply and Dean gasped.

“Don’t tell me you lost your taste for rough?” Cas smirked at Dean.

Dean lifted his face from the table and growled, “That all you got?”

Cas laughed and brought his hand down again, leaving a red handprint on Dean’s ass. He slapped him a couple more times, then grabbed the lube, lubed up his fingers and shoved two into Dean. Dean grunted and clenched down on them, but soon enough he was pushing back on them.

Cas slapped his ass a few more times while he worked Dean open, then he yanked out his fingers and forced his cock into Dean as far as it would go.

Dean groaned and clenched down again. This time Cas groaned. He held there until he couldn’t stand it anymore, then pulled back and rammed in again.

Cas grabbed Dean by the throat and pulled his head up from the table. He put his other hand on Dean’s shoulder and just reamed Dean. He could tell from the sounds Dean was making that he was enjoying it just as much as Cas was.

Cas never let up until he felt the heat rising from his balls to his cock.

“Cum for me Dean. I need you to cum.” 

Dean groaned again and reached down under the table to grasp his cock. He ran his hand down it and came on the spot.

Cas came as well. It was hot and amazing and seemed to last forever. He thrust in and out of Dean, chasing the end of it.

When it was over, Cas pulled Dean up, holding him to his chest. He kissed Dean’s throat and turned him around.

“Here’s to the restart.” They kissed for a long time, then Dean cleaned up the floor and joined Cas in bed.

 


	11. Chapter 11

The next week passed quickly. Garth seemed to have everything under control and they got all of Dean’s stuff packed and in the trunk and the back seat of baby. There was nothing left to do.

Dean hugged Garth, Garth hugged Cas and they all hugged Mrs. Hudson, who was crying.

“You best stay in touch, now, Dean!” Dean assured her he would. They got in the car and started home. Cas had arranged to have someone drive his car back.

It was only about a two hundred and fifty mile drive. Cas scooted over next to Dean and put a hand on Dean’s thigh. Dean has the music cranked up and they both sang along to the classic rock that Dean loved.

It was about three and a half hours until Dean pulled the car into Cas’ driveway. Dean looked at the house, which was small but cozy appearing. 

They got out and went to the front door, which Cas unlocked. Dean walked in and looked around. The front room was cozy and very Cas. There was a stone fireplace and lots of overstuffed furniture, with natural wood tables and old lamps.

Cas pulled Dean to the kitchen and Dean was amazed. It was all brand new appliances, all stainless steel. Dean whistled. “Damn. Cas. this is nice.” Cas smiled brightly at him.

“I figured you’d like it.”

Next they went to look at the main bedroom. Cas told him there were two bedrooms.

It was big. There was a king size bed and again, lots of natural wood furniture. The bed had tall posts on each corner. There was an antique desk, a huge chest of drawers and an old chest sat at the foot of the bed. 

Dean walked to the window seat and pointed at the chest.

“Where you keep the sex toys?

Cas nodded, chuckling.

Next they looked at the bathroom. It was amazing. There was a walk-in shower with all glass doors. It had a shelf in it, presumably for sitting down on, but Dean had a few ideas for that. There was an old, huge claw foot tub, big enough for two.

The sinks each had a mirror but there was also a floor to ceiling mirror on one wall.

Dean was impressed.

“You’ve been doing well for yourself.” 

Cas nodded. “I’m hungry, let’s get something to eat.

Cas dug a frozen pizza out and put it in the oven. He grabbed two beers out of the sadly bare fridge and they went to the living room to wait on the food.

“Gonna have to go grocery shopping tomorrow,” Dean agreed. Cas had obviously planned on being gone awhile when he’d left to find Dean.

A few days passed. They had sex a lot, of course, but Cas needed to work. Dean would putter around the house, watching TV, listening to music and just generally getting used to being there.   
But then Cas woke up in the middle of the night to find Dean wasn’t in bed. He searched the house, and found Dean on the back deck, crying.

Cas knelt in front of him and put his hands on Dean’s thighs.

“What’s wrong, baby/ Talk to me, please.”

Dean put his head on Cas’ shoulder and sobbed,

When he could talk, he told Cas he was useless.

“I was a priest, I helped people. I don’t know what to do with myself here. I feel guilty all the time and I’m just useless.”

Cas hugged him. “Dean, you are  _ not _ useless! I understand it’s hard, it’s a big change, but you’ll find your way. You just have to give it time. Maybe start looking for a job would help.”

Dean nodded, looking so sad it broke Cas’ heart to see.

“Come back to bed, baby. Please.”

Dean followed Cas to the bed and cuddled into his side.

The next morning Cas was drinking coffee when Dean came out, naked and yawning. 

“I’m sorry I overslept. Why didn’t you wake me up?’

Cas poured him a cup of coffee. “Because you had a bad night. Feeling any better this morning?”

Dean sighed, “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’m gonna take your advice and start looking for a job today.”

Late in the afternoon, Cas came out from his den to find Dean looking very unhappy, sitting in front of his computer.

“What’s the matter?” Cas leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

“I’m not qualified for anything. Apparently, being a priest isn’t good enough experience to get any job except flipping burgers.”

Cas sat down next to him. “I can’t believe that. You’re probably not looking for the right job. Let me help?”

Dean nodded. He went and got them both beers and sat back down, while Cas was doing a search. He watched as Cas looked at different results.

Dean took a pull on his beer, sat back and sighed. 

After a few minutes, Cas sat back and smiled. “Here you are! You would be perfect for this.”

Dean leaned over and read the listing. It was for a man to counsel troubled gay teens. He had the qualifications. 

Dean sat back and looked at Cas. “I think I’ll apply for it.”

Cas laughed. “You better! Those kids need someone like you.”

A week later, he was hired.

Things really started coming together for Dean after that. He loved his job and he was very good at it. He settled down into a routine with Cas. Even their love life settled down.

The night that the city gave Dean an award for the good work he was doing with these boys, Cas asked Dean to marry him. 

The only time Dean cried these days was over a particularly troubled teen he wanted to help.

Garth performed the wedding, without the church’s knowledge. It was beautiful and there wasn’t a dry eye when Cas and Dean danced the first dance together as husband and husband.

 


End file.
